FINALLY! i have conquered the line that has kept me away from the sweet fried dough that is the product of the beautiful, hard working people behind the doughnut vault. no longer will i be thwarted by the hoards of people eager to get their own circular piece of heaven. i have finally stepped inside the vault and emerged victorious.
since we're friends, i'm willing to share the secrets to my success. listen up.
secret #1: get up early.
seriously, i don't have to be at work until 9am but my butt was getting off the brown line stop at the merchandise mart at 7:30am to make sure i got a good spot in line. in fact i was so early that there wasn't a line yet. ha, imagine that. but i didn't want to be that weird, eager-beaver girl (even though i secretly am), so i walked around the block a few times and eventually found myself 5th in line. "oh yes, this was happening," i thought to myself.
secret #2: bring something to keep you busy.
the doughnut vault doesn't open until 8:30am so plan on bringing a book, ipod, podcast, or just your friendly face because you will more than likely chat with the other people in line. typical conversations begin with: "so are they as good as they say?" "is this your first time?" "which one is your favorite?" prepare to bond with strangers over your shared love of doughnuts.
secret #3: don't be pushy or impatient when the doors finally open at 8:30am.
once you get inside, you'll understand why the line is moving so slowly. each customer is treated as an individual person, not a number or dollar sign. "first time here? welcome! let's chat for a bit. not sure which flavors to get? i can help you.." it's annoying when you're in line and it may make you anxious, but once it's your turn you'll be grateful for julie's phenomenal customer service. she's great. also, she's the only one behind the counter.
secret #4: be prepared to tap into your inner thug.
one thing i was not expecting as i passed through the worn blue door was to hear the beats and rhymes of the wu-tang clan. loudly. very loudly, actually. snoop dog is also known to make an appearance. so is house of pain. and outkast. the presence of hip-hop and rap makes me love this place even more.
secret #5: remember to bring cash.
the vault is cash only, folks. so be prepared. you don't want to wait in line for an hour, only to find out that you can't pay for the glistening mounds of fried dough sitting just out of reach behind the old fashioned cash register. how tragic would that be??
secret #6: try not to gorge yourself while you're enjoying your hard-fought doughnuts.
i know, it's difficult, but these doughnuts are ginormous. like, seriously big. like, the-size-of-your-hand-if-you-were-trying-to-palm-a-basketball kind of big.
i walked away with one of each: buttermilk old fashioned, chestnut glazed, vanilla glazed, chocolate glazed and a gingerbread stack. my favorite by far is the buttermilk old fashioned. i'm pretty sure i could eat one every day for the rest of my life and not get sick of them.
please promise me you'll brave the line and get these doughnuts. please, i beg you. and when you do get them, save a bite for me.